Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
