we have officially lost it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
