mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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