I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
