R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
