I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize