I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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