I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
