She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When are your genitals available?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
