You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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