just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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