these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize