my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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