I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
