Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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