Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
