i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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