he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The Olympian is in my bed
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize