Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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