Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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