why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
