Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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