all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
