Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
