garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
