Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
