Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.