So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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