im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
