things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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