Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
