capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
