You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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