Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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