eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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