whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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