How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
