I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
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