Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
