what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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