she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
