just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
