Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
