Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
