Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
