question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
