I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
