Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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