I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
