we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This is my gift to your gina
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
