How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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