The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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