I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
