Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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