Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize