Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
