question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I wear drunk well.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
