first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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