You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
