ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
