Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize