It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
