i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
